A Desperate Return

The major problem with Edie dying, was not that she was a man eating whore, or that our wish that she might finally kill Susan was crushed, it was that suddenly Desperate Housewives just became desperate. She may have been an under utilised character but her brief appearances filled the Wisteria Lane drudgery with some much needed humour. A underhand comment here, a bitchy quip there, she never failed to bring a smile. It was only when we she disappeared from our screens for good that I realised the void that had replaced her. Whilst writer Marc Cherry marched on with thrilling plots and dramatic twists, it always came down to Edie to provide a brief chuckle, to lift the mood and to remind us that this was indeed a comedy.

The episode post her death - aka "Rose's Turn" was truly dreadful. Edie's last words - "I let go of picket fences, of cars and driveways" made me wish that I too had not bothered to tune back in. However, in a return to what is, at its roots, a family driven drama with some murder mystery thrown in, "Bargaining" was truly back on form.

Edie's dead, so to it seems is the series

Whilst Gaby tackled her daughters insecurities over her looks, Lynette strived to keep her marriage strong as Tom started to slide down a slope to depression. Katherine's worries were realised when she discovered Mike didn't want to re-marry whilst the return of Jackson caused a lonely Susan to let her feelings gush out in a torrential out pouring. Unluckily for her - as is to be expected - though Jackson's marriage proposal was real, its intent was not for the romance and love that she craved. Across town Brie's efforts to tackle Orson's comical kleptomania failed miserably and upon discovering he was entitled to recieve half her assets, solicited help from Susan's ex and divorce vulture, Karl.

It was a welcome return to family issues, to the everyday problems that people across the world face. Even more welcome was the return of the comedy, Lynette and Tom in action whilst on a conference call, MJ's one liner about macaroons. Carry on like this and perhaps this black comedy will finally be comedic again.

Desperate Housewive bids farewell to Wisteria Lane

Today is a day of mourning for Desperate Housewives fans as Nicolette Sheridan, who plays feisty man eating Edie Britt confirmed that she is to leave the show currently in its fifth season. Her spokesperson revealed to People.com that she is ready to leave saying "she had a great time on the show and is looking forward to her next project"

Nicolette plays man eater Edie Britt

Currently filming its fifth season Desperate Housewives is set for its finale in May, with Edie making her grand exit in April. Creator Marc Cherry had previously hinted that there were going to be dramatic plots for the character mentioning that Edie would be crossing a moral boundary that "will have devastating consequences for her and lead to a shocking conclusion to her time on Wisteria Lane"

Desperate Housewives - Season 5, Episode 14 - Mama Spent Money When She Had None

The Scavo’s are broke. Tom’s sports car has to be sold and as Bree glides by in her new Lexus, gushing about all of its fabulous features, there’s no doubt that there will be trouble. Word quickly spreads through the women of Lynette’s dire situation and taking matters into her own hands as only Bree does best, the stressed out mother and pizzeria owner soon finds a cheque for $20,000 thrust upon her. Aghast by her friends generosity Lynette quickly determines that though the money would save her financial situation she cannot accept it as a gift and Bree quickly becomes a 15% shareholder in the Scavo’s food outlet.

Bree’s generosity quickly comes between friends

Elsewhere the other housewives also have financial matters on their minds – Susan finally gets a place for MJ into the private school she’s been bugging for months only to discover that the fee’s are far more than she and Mike can afford. Finding Katherine wearing a brand new and beautiful pearl necklace gift from Mike, Susan becomes angry and attempts to steal the necklace back. Confronting Mike over the situation he embarrassingly reveals that he couldn’t afford a real pearl necklace and so bought Katherine a fake, and that he is working all the hours that god sends to try and put money by for his son. Humbly Susan repents and realises that it is she who must work harder and grovelling at the school’s office convinces the head to give her an art assistant post at the school, thus affording her the discount needed for MJ’s school fee’s to be met.

Money is not a problem however for the newly wealthy Solices and as a celebration Carlos arranges to take Gabrielle out to an expensive restaurant. Seeing the need to make it extra special Gabrielle takes it upon herself to try and fit back into the gown she wore when Carlos first proposed, it however no longer fits as well as it did and managing to get an invite to Edie’s extreme workout class she sets about losing the weight. However, after reading the work out class’s contract and discovering that words such as “can’t”, “donut” and “cake” are banned and partaking in the first session with the angry and fierce ex Israeli army instructor Gabby decides to quit. That is until the class arrive on her lawn at 6am, the instructor blowing his whistle and forcing her out of the house. After refusing to take part Edie gives Gabby a few home truths telling her that they as a group had decided to come over because they knew how important getting into the dress was for the latino. That Gabby was fast turning into the self conceited bitch she used to be, and that Edie much preferred the dumpy, poor housewife of the last few months. Realising that Edie was actually speaking truth Gabby returned to the group, a smile from the instructor and the other women, and realised there was more to the training group than pain, lactic acid and shouting – there was friendship.

Gabby’s back to being trim but needs to do some re-evaluating

At the pizzeria Lynette threw a party to celebrate Bree’s becoming a shareholder but things got off to a bad start when the red headed regimented queen of food discovered the Scavo’s were dishing up pizza from her best selling book without using the correct ingredients. Taking matters into her own hands Bree threw out the old pizza’s and started over, much to the anger of Lynette who drove off from the party, bumping Bree’s new Lexus in the meantime, and leaving the foodie alone at her own book signing. Things became worse when Lynette later angrily gave Bree a cheque for the damage to the car and stated that money had truly come between them.

With our current economic crisis it is nice to see it being portrayed, though with some delusion, through Desperate Housewives. How Susan ever managed on her book illustration I’ll never know so it’s with some relief that she finally gets a job and equally its nice to see Gabby, though richer than of late, not reverting to the money grabbing, shallow minded bitch she was originally. With the undertones of Dave still ever present – Tom Scavo discovers that it was Dave that put Preston into the firing line for arson – there are still rumblings of a big explosive final but it is refreshing to see this season return to some of the more common, but by no means lesser, suburban storylines rather than relying on big, complicated and unrealistic plots to thrill the viewer.

Desperate Housewives - Season 5

Running directly on from the Season 4 finale last Wednesday the housewives are back on Channel 4 tonight with the debut of Season 5. With a much needed plot twist - jumping five years into the future - it is hoped that Wisteria Lane will get the revitalisation that it needs to re-establish Season 5 to a par with that of the first explosive and original show seen with its Season 1 debut.

The housewives are largely changed and jumping five years into the future brings new trials and tribulations in addition to the viewers desperate need to know just what has happened over these missed years. Gaby, now with two rather tubby children in tow, has become Mrs Frumpy whilst Susan and Mike’s rather boring and long winded will they won’t they is once again off the cards with Mike looking dead – again. Meanwhile the Scavo children have grown rather large and I’m sure more “boisterous” if that’s the correct word and our wonderful Bree seems to have returned to her former cold and calculating self that we knew and loved in Season 1. Katherine remains on the street though daughter Dylan and best friend Julie Mayer seem to have disappeared (presumably off to college) and though I was stricken to see our favourite man vulture Edie leave at the end of the last Season, five years on and she’s back on the street to cause chaos once again.

All in all the first few episodes seem to shape up for a good run to come, the humour is back, the ridiculous mystery and danger storylines seem to have gone (think boy locked in the cellar) and our housewives are back to causing chaos in their own insane, but truer and more normal lives. There’s still a stain of foreboding – Edie’s new husband is fast shaping up to be the new villain of the series and Bree’s male soul mate Orson seems to finally be putting his foot down but with Porter Scavo falling in love with his mum due to a myspace esc chatting incident, and Bree trying to force feed her vegetarian grandson a hotdog because it’ll make him grow up big and strong, I think we’re set for several months of fun and hysterics.

Channel 4 - Wednesdays at 22.00